


Don't Be Nice

by KarkatVantabulous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Blood Powers, Fighting, Heroes, Humanstuck, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Hatred, Superheroes, Superpowers, Supervillains, Time Powers, Villains, Violence, powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-13 15:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9129241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarkatVantabulous/pseuds/KarkatVantabulous
Summary: Super villains always get the horrible label of being evil and having no heart or really no soul in order to do what they're doing. But Karkat is different. Being The Red Baron is fun for him but his reasons for being the Red Baron aren't exactly his.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked [The Peacekeeper!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7565287/chapters/17209861) Here's a superhero/villain AU that I hope you'll enjoy just as much!. Here's my Tumblr too!

As he was being flung to a building Karkat momentarily thought about what he should pick up on the way home for dinner. His parents were gone so he really could go all out tonight. A giant hand made out of blood floated between Karkat and the building, Karkat landing safely onto that gelatin like hand and springing back into action. The hand floated along besides him as he flew straight for the superhero he was currently fighting. A dude clad in bright pink. He was wearing a pair of douchebag pants and well, that was it. Or more, that was the most noticeable thing about him.

"Just give it up! You're no match for me!" Oh god. The superhero lecture. Karkat hated that the most about superheroes. They _always_ have to have one part of the fight that has them monologging about how great they are and how they will defeat their enemy. It was annoying as hell. Karkat rolled his eyes and waved his hand, part of the giant blood appendage broke away and formed a series of letters which turned into words which turned into a sentence that read: _"shut up."_

This was his signature...thing. Or whatever. Karkat never spoke while in villain-mode. He could not risk anyone hearing his voice and recognizing him. He didn't want to get in trouble (ironically) and he did not want anyone to know who he was so blood powers forming words were a terrific idea. He took some extra precautions with his outfit as well. He had on a cape, the hood of that always on, with a front that was large enough to cover his mouth. The cape also managed to to cover the front of his body as well as the back so he was safe from anyone analyzing body types, though that possibility is kind of stupid in all honesty. Other than the cape he had on a nice mask that's basically just a wide ribbon that has holes cut out for the eyes. Yep. Karkat was prepared.

The superhero's eyes glowed pink and an electric feeling was filling up the air. Karkat barely had enough time to shield himself with a nice bubble of blood from the giant blood hand to protect himself before the superhero shot out something that he always assumed was weird pink lightning. Seemed really ineffective in situations like this but whatever. Those were his powers.

Karkat squinted. It looked like the super-dick was monologging again. He sighed and prepared himself for the bitter hero beats villain ending of this battle. Karkat, actually The Red Baron at the moment, quickly made the bubble around him form back into blood but at that moment the other tackled him into the nearby building. Karkat then shoved the other away roughly and smaller blood hands appeared to forcefully push _him_ into another building. By the time the hero was ready to fight, Karkat was gone. Everyone assumed the good guy had won when in Karkat's perspective no one really won. It was the same as always. 

Now, he was alone in the garage of an abandoned slaughter house. He usually slipped away there to change out of his villain getup into his regular clothes. It was nice and quiet, the only things there other than him were crows and rusted up machinery. However his little safe haven was going to be torn down very soon, several people have complained this place smells way too much and the land could utilized for something way cooler (like an IHop), so Karkat would have to go looking for _another_ abandoned building where he could slip away after battles. 

He began walking home, his backpack( which he always had hidden in that slaughterhouse) was considerably heavier with his villain outfit in there and the straps kept sliding off his shoulders. He sighed, already feeling tired as fuck even though he had walked a maximum of ten steps. At least he was ten steps closet to home. Eleven...twelve...thirteen...

~

"JoJo," Karkat called out as he shut the front door, "I'm back!" JoJo, his cat, didn't come running to him excitedly nor did she peek her head around any corner. The cat merely called out, her meow muffled by something that Karkat had a good guess at what it was. He groaned and half stomped to the living room, flopping down on the couch and peeking behind it. Sure enough there she was. The pure black cat with green eyes was sitting in the little spot behind the couch and the wall. She was stuck. "God dammit." Human sized blood hands appeared and began lifting the couch up, when there was enough room the cat walked out into the open living room and down came the couch. "Honestly, you suck and I hate you." They feline sneezed in response and wasted no time in walking over to her food bowl.

Karkat managed to drag himself off the comfort of the couch and open a new can of wet food. As he dumped the food in and began breaking it apart the cat began meowing excessively at his feet. He mimicked her in a mocking tone. Once he had done that and cleaned out her litter box he made the long trip of walking up the stairs to his room and across the room to his bed where he could finally get some rest. Fighting a superhero was no piece of cake okay? It was exhausting as shit and he needed some well deserved rest from...doing villain stuff today.

"What was I even doing?" He asked himself aloud, genuinely confused. In all honesty he had no idea why he was out in Red Baron mode today. His boyfriend just texted him to go out and wreck havoc so he did just that. He supposed it had been a whopping week and a half since he had gone out and destroyed a building. Not like it mattered, after every battle Karkat felt so guilty he would secretly go out every night and fix everything with his powers. It was a few simple repairs that had gotten simpler over the years. 

He yawned and covered his mouth, some blood smearing onto his cheek. Right, the cut he had made on his finger was still bleeding. He was an excessive bleeder, which was weird to him considering he had blood powers. Blood was probably the most important thing to him and yet here was, bleeding it out as if it was chocolate milk or air or whatever other thing that comes in absurd amounts. He grabbed a bandage and covered the cut, if he didn't think about it he wouldn't keep using his powers and if he didn't use his powers his cut would heal and the oddly fast speed it usually did with whatever injury Karkat wasn't "using". Oh god. His backpack. It was downstairs and he _just_ put a bandage on his cut. Great. He was about to rip the bandage off and allow the blood to flow out of his cut and form the blood hands so they could retrieve his bag before he thought against it. So, instead, he stood up and begrudgingly walked all the way downstairs.

JoJo was still eating her wet food (that night's delicacy was Fancy Feast's famous turkey or some sort of bird) and didn't bother to look up as her owner groaned loudly all the way downstairs and continued groaning as he grabbed his bookbag and went back upstairs. The groaning only stopped when Karkat's phone rang. He dropped his backpack on the side of the bed and immediately answered his phone, a smile on his face.

"Every time I call you answer the phone faster and faster. Soon enough I'm expecting you to have the phone in your hand and you'll answer on the first ring." Dave Strider was on the other end. He had been Karkat's best friend for a long time. Sadly he moved away a good four and a half years ago to Texas but that didn't matter anymore. Next week he was moving back here with his other brother. A brother Karkat didn't know he had until Dave told him the good news of moving back a couple months ago. "Although if you answer me that fast the next thing I would expect you to do would be to call me first, but we both know that won't happen." Karkat laughed, pulling his laptop onto his bed and turning it on.

"I'd have to be really bored or desperate to call you first Dave. But anyway I want you to tell me again what day next of the week you'll be here."

"Dude, we've been over this twenty times. My plane arrives Tuesday of next week at around eight at night. I go to your school and register on Wednesday and on Thursday you and I shall be reunited and our friendship shall be rekindled."

"Hmmm. No. Register on Tuesday so you can come in on Wednesday."

"Kind of can't do that. I'm afraid the school is not open at, let's say ten, ten at night. I will officially be your co-student or peer or whatever on Thursday. Can't change that."

"Fine, but I'm going to be pretty damn pissed on Thursday because you would be here and entire day already and I'm seeing you then."

"Well I could always not unpack and catch up with my bro to go hang with you after school."

"No, god no. I'd feel bad."

"You would need feelings to feel bad Karkat. Kind of common sense." Karkat snorted and on the other end Dave smiled. "So, speaking of feelings, how're you and your boyfriend?"

"Cronus? He's...a dick. As always. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing new really."

"Uh huh. You know I'm still kind of in awe. He is the most popular douche in school, an entire year older than you, on the football team and in swimming and drama and he gets no shit about...ya know, his preference. And from what I hear you get no shit! It...it amazes me!"

"Well like I've said before, his family is filthy stinking rich. If someone so much as blinks the wrong way around them they're getting their asses sued. It's kind of...cool." Karkat sighed. "Sometimes I wish I did have to go through that so I could actually teach those closed minded dicks something instead of having Cronus' family's mass amount of power scare them into accepting this but...I mean at least I don't get shit like you see on YouTube campaigns about stopping homophobia. The slurs on the lockers and shit like that so it's nice to not have to deal with that. But I don't know, I

"I bet. Being down here in Texas is so fucked man. Yeah not all of Texas is bible-thumping mega conservative but a lot of people are. It is really exhausting to be around people like that. Glad I'm finally leaving."

"And so am I Dave. Finally we can have sleepovers and watch Adam Sandler movies all night long."

"Uh, no, we're not doing that." Dave stretched out on his own bed, getting ready to change the subject. He's probably going to be sitting there for the rest of the evening but he didn't care. "How'd your day go?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with the second chapter to this! I know I took a while to get it out and published I just needed a little break from writing since my last project was so long. But I'm back!

Dave was staring in a mirror and he had no fucking clue what he was looking at. It was weird and red and tight and made him look like the weird love child of Superman and Spider-Man. Actually, he looked like the weird love child of Superman and Spider-man's outfits. It was just a giant mess of spandex and weird rubbery-leathery material that hugged him in all the wrong places. To be blunt, he looked stupid.

"No." Dirk raised an eyebrow at that.

"No what? It's good. It suits you."

"Maybe it'd suit me if I was one of those gay ghosts on American Horror Story but I'm very much not a ghost and I'm not on American Horror Story." The other Strider had a blank expression. "You know, in the first season? The two gay ghosts in the house? One wears the black leather suit? The other one gets mad because it's not real? Why am I explaining this to you! This outfit is dumb and I demand it be returned to wherever you got it."

"I made it you dick. And it took a lot of effort so you're wearing it at least _once_." Dave sighed and looked himself over once more. God he looked so stupid. "It's better than my outfit at least. I look like complete douchebag."

"Just because you look like one doesn't mean I have to look like one too ya know." Dave turned away from the mirror and began the difficult task of peeling this skin tight suit off him. "That torch is one I refuse to pass on. The superhero deal was too overwhelming already, I don't know what I would do if I had to parade around looking like I have a boner just because my suit is that tight."

"Okay okay I get it." Dirk sighed. "But if you don't like this one then what do you want instead? I don't want to make another suit that's up to my standards that you'll hate, that'll just mean more work for me." Dave thought for a moment, pulling the top half of his outfit off.

"Something like that dude you're always fighting. His outfit is cool."

"I know you know his name," Dirk spoke bluntly as he took the top from Dave's hands, "you practically stalk The Red Baron. Why? I will never understand. He's just a villain with no meaning. All he does is cause destruction with no real motives. Like a kid throwing a tantrum randomly."

"Yeah but he's cool." Dirk scoffed.

"Oh yeah. So cool. He's even cooler when he manages to slip past me and drain all the blood out of a random citizen. _So cool_."

"Okay you know what I meant. What he does isn't cool but he is cool. Like, the dude even has his own Twitter account! A verified one, which in this day and age is like winning an award. What the hell man. How does one do that? Like, how does he have his own twitter account and manage to never get tracked down? He's a genius."

"Anyone can turn off their locations Dave. And it isn't cool, it's really fucking dumb. He is a super villain and he's treating this as if he were some celebrity which further proves the fact that he has no motives and that he's a moron." Dave managed to pull off the pants without stumbling down to the ground. He rolled his eyes and tossed them to his brother.

"Whatever. His powers are cool though, that is something you have to admit. Blood powers, how do you even get that? Mutation? Was he born that way? Was he cursed?"

"Curses aren't real. That's just old wives tales."

"Really? You're saying that? You of all people are saying that? You're saying curses aren't real in a world where you can rip the souls out of people and he can drain the blood from others?"

"Okay, fine. It could be a curse and yeah his powers are impressive but they aren't being properly controlled. If you really pay attention half the time the blood he is "controlling" is going crazy."

"Well I'm sure it's pretty damn hard to control those giant masses of blood. And I'm sure it was hard for you to control your wacky pink lightning. And I'm sure it'll be hard for me to control my powers so you really shouldn't be talking crap." Dirk gave the younger Strider and look of disbelief.

"I really don't understand why you're defending him. He kills people and destroys buildings and he's just downright terrible. He's the villain and pretty soon you're going to be the superhero fighting him so I suggest you try to get rid of that 'he's so cool' mentality and start reminding yourself that he can, might, and probably will kill you mercilessly."

Dave rolled his eyes and dismissed what Dirk said. He could still kick The Red Baron's ass and fanboy over him. It's not like he looked up to him or whatever. Dirk was just being too worrisome over something small and insignificant. Perhaps even a little jealous.

Dave walked back to his room, once getting there he pulled on some old clothes. He was flying out to his new home tonight. By flying out he was literally going to fly out there. Neither Dirk nor Dave were going to cough up those hundreds of dollars to fly somewhere with a bunch of snooty passengers when they could fly there themselves free of charge and take in the scenery peacefully. 

His stomach was in excited knots. Obviously he was excited. For the first time in what felt like _forever_ he would see Karkat again- in real life of course. The thought of that was enough to put a smile on his face. 

Dave's laptop dinged, a Skype notification no doubt. He looked over and sure enough there was the blue Skype logo with Karkat's screen name right next to it. The smile on the soon-to-be superhero's face widened as he clicked on the small message box and read what his friend sent to him.

Like every other day, it was just Karkat telling Dave about his day. Which two people started a fight, what he had for lunch, which dumb-ass teacher assigned too much homework or gave him a test, what weird conversation he overheard during lunch or any in between class break he had, and finally what he did with Cronus that day. That last part he could live without knowing but Dave didn't want to tell Karkat that. It'd be a dick move! It didn't matter though, what mattered was that at least Dave was blessed enough to have a friend who loved to talk about any and everything and he was one to love hearing that talk about any and everything.

As the night dragged on the conversation did as well. Eventually Dave had to bid Karkat goodnight. He sat there contently for a moment with his laptop closed shut in front of him. Dirk walked in and motioned to his brother that it was time to go. The younger Strider sat there a moment before standing up, gathering his things and heading out into the night sky.


	3. Chapter 3

Karkat kept watching the clock, much to the annoyance of Cronus. The greaser wannabe already knew what his boyfriend was watching the clock for and he already knew why Karkat kept watching the clock but he didn't know why he kept watching the clock. Yeah, okay so his best friend was coming back. Big whoop. But why was that such a big deal? Cronus just didn't understand. As Karkat's boyfriend, he should automatically be his best friend. Karkat should be watching the clock and counting down the seconds to when he gets to see his significant other next.

...Which technically wasn't needed now since Cronus was right next to him but still!

Karkat's leg was bouncing in excitement. One hand was in his pocket and resting on his phone so he could feel it if it vibrated with news from Dave. He kept trying to force a smile from not showing, his mouth making awkward twisting movements. He kept twirling his pencil around with his fingers. At one point he began biting his lower lip to keep the smile from coming. God this was just...wrong. It was fucked up in Cronus' eyes. Why was Karkat getting so excited over this? It is _nothing_. Dave is _nothing_.

The bell rang and Karkat nearly fell trying to stand up so fast. Cronus rolled his eyes and slowly began shoving book after book into his bag. Karkat said nothing but it was clear that he was getting a bit bothered by how slow he was going. Eventually Cronus stood up, Karkat grabbed his hand and dragged him out the doors and through the halls. Cronus dragged his feet as his boyfriend yanked him through the large crowd of teenagers also trying to leave but through different exits. He really didn't understand why Karkat was so excited.

The drive home was awkwardly silent, for Cronus that is. Karkat spent his time texting his friend. Best friend. Dave. Every time they stopped at a red light Cronus would look over, seeing _his_ boyfriend smiling at his phone. _His_ boyfriend laughing at another guy's texts. The light would turn green and he would continue driving, a tight hold on the steering wheel.

They were nearing Karkat's house and Karkat was already preparing to jump out the car and give a quick thanks to his boyfriend for the ride home. Like any sane boyfriend Cronus wasn't going to have that. As they pulled in, Cronus grasped Karkat's arm tightly, definitely getting his attention.

"Hey, before you go," Cronus flashed his boyfriend a smile, "have a good day. Alright doll?" The other nodded, slightly confused. "Don't do nothing stupid, aight?" Another nod. "And _have fun_." Cronus's smiled widened and Karkat nodded once more, slower this time. He was admittedly confused, Cronus usually didn't enunciate random words or smile so wide, but he decided against any questions.

Walking in, his mom greeted him with a warm welcome and telling him dinner would be ready at the usual time. Karkat halfheartedly responded with an 'ok mom' as he retreated upstairs to his room. JoJo was in there already, all laid out on Karkat's bed. She meowed as he dropped his bookbag and flopped down besides her, rubbing her stomach.

_Have fun._

Karkat thought for a moment before standing up yet again.

~

This was fun. Right? It was some form of fun. At least that was what Karkat was trying to convince himself as he was thrown in the air by the douche super hero clad in pink, who's equally as douchey name is the Heartbreaker. It was fun. Cronus told him to have fun and this was exactly what he was doing.

Or maybe this whole idea was dumb.

Electricity shoot through Karkat's body and all he could see was neon pink. He wanted to screech in pain but he could risk nothing, instead he bit down as hard as he could on the front of his cape, trying to will the giant blood hand to break apart and form into smaller blood hands. The smaller blood hands were just the thing that The Red Baron needed to distract his heroic enemy long enough to let go of Karkat. Once the pink electricity was no longer affecting him he managed to get himself together long enough to dodge a sword attack. Katana attack? Whatever.

The fight droned on and Karkat was actually beginning to get annoyed. He could've been home right now, texting Dave. Instead he was here fighting. He didn't even know why he was fighting. It was like a magical hand forced his villain suit on and shoved him towards the city after telling everyone he was planning an attack. Karkat was just about ready to finish the battle when something caught his eye.

He didn't exactly know what it was. He just knew it was fast and bright red and coming his way. He paused for a moment, the blood hands occupying the Heartbreaker, and squinted to get a better look at the weird red thing.

That was when he got punched in the face.

It didn't hurt _that_ much but it was enough to send Karkat spiraling backwards. When he regained his balance he looked up in utter confusion. It was another superhero. One with piss blond hair and striking red outfit. Karkat had never seen this guy before so naturally he stopped to stare, which got him punched again, this time by the Heartbreaker.

The mysterious superhero dressed in red giggled quietly. He was actually there. He had just punched his favorite super villain in the face with his own fist. This was great. Life was great. His skin was clear, his water was clean. Life was great.

"Hey!" Dirk- Whoops, The Heartbreaker- waved his arm in front of Dave's face. "Don't just stay there floating like a doofus, Clockwork." Ew. Dave physically cringed at his disgustingly shitty superhero name. Neither of them could think of something cooler! Or at least something cool that was in theme with his powers. Dave originally wanted to be The Obamarang but that may have been slightly...odd, to say in the least so it was shot down immediately. But it was fine. Later that same night, Dave was not going to rest until he came up with the perfect superhero name. "Do something!" Dave blinked and looked past Dirk, seeing that The Red Baron had risen once again and was simply...floating there. A slightly opaque blood shield surrounded him and his intimidating eyes seemed to be piercing through Dave's soul.

"Why isn't he doing anything?" Dave asked quietly to an equally confused Dirk. The other shrugged.

"Dunno. He's never done this before..."

"I'm gonna try something..." Dirk nodded and allowed his brother to cautiously float over to the super villain in question. "Uh, hi." Dave waved. He wasn't exactly sure what he was doing but at least he was doing something. "Name's Clockwork, I'm new." The Red Baron squinted in what seemed like disgust? If anyone _could_ squint in disgust that is. A small stream of blood floated up out of his arm, forming a sentence.

_"That is the most disgusting name I've heard._ " Dave smiled a bit.

"I'm not the most creative...and neither is The uh, The Heartbreaker...so..." He let out a nervous laugh and stayed there awkwardly. "So uh, you're THE Red Baron...that's cool. That's really cool actually."

_"I don't think super heroes normally comments how cool they think someone who's currently destroying the lives of many."_

"Well- uh, fuck. Yeah. Okay. I guess. I'm new. Sorry. It's just, uh, you're cool."

The Red Baron stayed silent now. This guy seemed so...nervous around him? A good nervous. Like, butterflies in the stomach nervous. And this new guy thought he was cool too? He honestly felt flattered. And maybe slightly creeped out. But damn, there was just something so familiar about him. He couldn't put his finger on it. This guy, Clockwork, seemed so... _familiar_. God it was bugging him and it would keep bugging him.

Now, the two of them were floating a good thirty feet apart in silence. But it was a comfortable silence. Not an awkward one where they felt forced to talk about something or fight. However it seemed like Dirk felt uncomfortable since he let out a loud and annoyed groan.

"Come on!" The pink clad hero took his stance and extended his arms, pink lightning shooting out of his palms instantaneously. Karkat reacted fast, using the blood hands he managed to grab a gold sized chunk of a pulverized building and chucked it in the general direction of the two heroes. This time, Dave reacted fast. He gasped and crossed his arms over his head, hoping the giant slab of cement would stop which it did. Red gears appeared around the piece of motionless concrete, they seemed like a sort of decoration. Dave looked up at the frozen piece and then back to where the Red Baron was only to see that his favorite villain had mysteriously vanished.


End file.
